A Beating for Love

                                                     Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash
 

A beating for love

Your fist pounded my face

In shock I stood there

Not moving, not screaming

The first time it happened

You said you beat me because you loved me.

 

You put the blame on me

I don’t remember doing wrong

Your gambling and drinking

Your womanising and flirting

Your problems and woes

Were all my fault

And you said you beat me because you loved me

 

I asked you why you did this

“You made me do it “you said

“I love you, that’s why I beat you”

 

I never knew love was like this

Maybe no one ever told me.

I thought love was loving and caring,

Laughter and happiness

Not this—a beating for love

 

I grew old in my heart

My love turned to fear and hate

I lived only in dread of that fist in my face

Why didn’t I go, why?

Because I loved you

And you said you loved me that’s why you beat me.

I cried myself to sleep, silently

So you wouldn’t hear in case I got another fist in my face.

 

Is this love?

A fist in the face

I must have dreamt the other love

The movie star love

The storybook love

The pure clean love

What have I done to deserve this?

This angry fist in my face.

 

The hand that beats me caresses me

I can’t move away

Can’t say what’s in my heart,

No one must know my shame

I lay there beaten inside, dead inside, hating inside, dying inside

Holding on to you- not in love but in fear

While dreading the morning because I’ll get another fist in my face

And you’ll whisper between the kisses, I beat you because I love you.

© Mariska Araba Taylor-Darko 2004