The Daughter

 

 

                                                           credit picture: www.thagfoundation.org

You were already born when I met you

Had spent four years not knowing you

But when I fell in love with your mother

I took you into my heart like my own daughter

 

Through the years that you grew up

No one knew you were for another

You had no idea because you weren’t told

There was no need to worry your head

With things that were for when you were old

 

There was nothing you ever needed

From parents day to birthday parties

I played my role with all my heart

To make sure you never felt unloved

And it was a pleasure to watch you grow

From a little girl with braided hair

To a young woman lovely and fair

 

Suddenly a day came

When your mother forgot all that I had done

Turned you against me because I dared to question

The plans and decisions you both had made

Forgetting that I was there all the way

 

You treated me with contempt when things were tough

But still I waited to make sure

That the plans I had for you matured

And you could stand on your own two feet as a woman

 

Now I am just another person in your life

To be used and discarded like a rag

But God knows I did my best

To make sure you had nothing but the best

 

One day you’ll sit and wonder

When you find out that I am not your real father

That the love and care I had for you was genuine

Because I loved both you and your mother

And you were part of her, my little treasure

 

The pain in my heart will go away in time

And I know you will not find another

To care for you like a father

Because the one you may go looking for

Would not have the memories that I have of you

Going back to when you were four

A Beating for Love

                                                     Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash
 

A beating for love

Your fist pounded my face

In shock I stood there

Not moving, not screaming

The first time it happened

You said you beat me because you loved me.

 

You put the blame on me

I don’t remember doing wrong

Your gambling and drinking

Your womanising and flirting

Your problems and woes

Were all my fault

And you said you beat me because you loved me

 

I asked you why you did this

“You made me do it “you said

“I love you, that’s why I beat you”

 

I never knew love was like this

Maybe no one ever told me.

I thought love was loving and caring,

Laughter and happiness

Not this—a beating for love

 

I grew old in my heart

My love turned to fear and hate

I lived only in dread of that fist in my face

Why didn’t I go, why?

Because I loved you

And you said you loved me that’s why you beat me.

I cried myself to sleep, silently

So you wouldn’t hear in case I got another fist in my face.

 

Is this love?

A fist in the face

I must have dreamt the other love

The movie star love

The storybook love

The pure clean love

What have I done to deserve this?

This angry fist in my face.

 

The hand that beats me caresses me

I can’t move away

Can’t say what’s in my heart,

No one must know my shame

I lay there beaten inside, dead inside, hating inside, dying inside

Holding on to you- not in love but in fear

While dreading the morning because I’ll get another fist in my face

And you’ll whisper between the kisses, I beat you because I love you.

© Mariska Araba Taylor-Darko 2004

 

Motherhood

 

 

After years of being taken care of

Of being a child

Of being your mothers daughter

You suddenly find that you have also become a mother

 

No planning or teaching can prepare you for that day

When you first hold your child in your arms.

You look down at the tiny person put in your arms,

You look at the face, the fingers and toes.

You touch the skin, and hold it close.

You close your eyes and say a silent prayer

That God has seen both of you safe through the pain and tears.

 

Sleepless nights, worry, tears and fears

These are just a few in the early years,

Pain and strain go hand in hand

When your little one begins to stand.

 

Every fall every cry feels like someone stabbed you with a knife

Throughout the years you feel the same

And it will continue throughout their lives.

Like a never ending game

 

They will grow and change your dreams,

Challenge your words and sometimes scream

But whatever they do you continue to love

What can beat a mother’s love?

 

You defend them from friends and enemies

Help them as best you can

Train and guide is all you can do

Show them that they have God beside them too

And when your job is good and done

You smile when they make you a Gran.